So what do I do?

This just ain’t working. From the moment I got hit by illness back in February, I’ve been trying to catch up with myself.

Get Ill, try to return.

Then cut my hand, try to return.

Then get Ill, and try to return. (Dejavu)

I think if I look back over my posts here, I’ll probably notice a pattern. And it goes like this.

1) train. I’m happy

2) train. I become unhappy

3) race. I’ve suddenly disappeared inside my head, and it’s a negative place to be

4) perform below my own expectation

5) have a whine about how I’m not performing how I should be.

6) change something

7) ultimately just go back what I was doing before.

So how do I break this cycle? Do I need to fix my head, so I don’t mess up the race? Do I need to accept I’m not as fast as I should be, and then not hit the negativity after a race? Or do I need to change what I’m doing?

I know for sure that the 5k was the wrong event for me to compete in yesterday. Not because it was beyond me, but after rowing a test 5 on Wednesday and giving up 600m into it for no reason other than that I was bored – I knew that I would never be in the right mindset to blast out a sub-18 5k, let alone challenge the fast guys.

The 1k was interesting though. And for this reason: the negative shadow was chased away by getting into a race with Tony McKenna.

The first 400m were very functional. Around 1:40 pace and just rowing within my comfort zone. Then I could hear Sam commentating that we were neck and neck; and that there would be a tough race in for the win. At which point, I engaged in the race

I’m not saying I towed well. But I certainly rowed faster than the first 400m.

I’m not saying that it was entirely the chase that got me engaged – though that was part of it. The manageable duration was the bigger influence when then combined with the race situation. 1000m was never going to take longer than 3:20 – and I knew I could manage that. There was no room or time to get bored.

So is this the answer for the short term? Train with longer sessions for sure, but only push the short sprint stuff until I’m happy again.

I’m unlikely to take part in BRIC – and the World Champs are looking unlikely too unfortunately. However, the Scottish Champs are still 1k which I could focus my training in. And if I respond well to that, I may consider the English Champs. But only if I get happy pushing at longer durations again.

Too posh to push…

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